Fear: Who do you run to?

2 Timothy 1:7 – For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Sweaty palms, your heart beating at a crazy rate, feeling paralyzed in the moment, the urge to run, crying, or even screaming. These describe some of the many things that may come with fear. I know all of us have dealt with fear at some point in our lives. The question is who do we run to when we are faced with fear?  

When I was younger I ran to my mother, grandparents, or a sibling to get the reassurance that everything was going to be okay.  Now that I am older I sometimes will turn to my husband for reassurance. Then there are those times when the reassurance of a loved one just doesn’t work. 

A couple of months ago, I went through a time like this when I could not get the feeling that things were going to be okay. I had a flare up with my multiple sclerosis (MS).  My eyes were impacted. As a result of my MS, I have something called optic neuritis. So, literally over the course of a day, I lost my eye sight in one eye. My worst fear had come to life. 

I began to cry and realized I couldn’t even cry out of one eye. I grew frustrated and sick to my stomach. My family tried to give me words of comfort, but I didn’t find comfort. It was not until I turned to God and began to pray that I found comfort. I began to feel the warm embrace of the Holy Spirit across my face and in my heart. I knew that my sight would be restored. 

I went to my eye doctor and they told me this flare up had caused permanent damage to my eye. I was not sure what that meant. I immediately thought that I would be blind in one eye forever. Again, myriad emotions began to rise in me. I had to catch myself before I was consumed with fear. 

I took my power back! I prayed to God again and began to feel a sense of peace. I was reminded that God had not given me the spirit of fear, but he gives us the spirit of peace. Fear is the one thing the enemy has. He wants to try and destroy us and make us respond to life’s challenges with a range of emotions not grounded in our faith.

Dear God,

Thank for You allowing me to see another beautiful day. I appreciate all the wonderful support  my loved ones give me. I ask that You help me turn to You in my time of need. Help me to always remember You and not to give in to the spirit of fear, but embrace power, love, and self-discipline.




Purpose: The fire within

red rocks

Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Why is it that when you tell some people your dreams or something you want to achieve, they make a point to tell you how it will never work? Too often, I have let it get under my skin when people close to me tell me that it won’t work. I now realize I have allowed people like that in my life way too much. Maybe they respond like that because they can’t imagine how they would be able to meet he goal I’ve set for myself.

One thing I know about myself is that if I hear from others that I can’t, I will push to achieve whatever it is they say I can’t do. Often though, when I would hear my goal was not attainable, I myself started to believe it was not attainable. But when God was moving through these situations, there was a small voice inside of me that said, “Go after your dreams.”

For example when I was 6, doctors told me that running track would only make my juvenile rheumatoid arthritis worse. But I refused to let that stop me and I went on to qualify for the Junior Olympics at age 9. As a young adult, doctors told me that I would never be able to have children, but I knew in my heart that the God I serve would allow me to have a child. In time, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter and went on to have two sons.

Other times I went after goals because people had told me what I wanted to do was stupid. Like for instance, because of my history as a sprinter and cheerleader, at one point when looking for a career change, I began to explore becoming a personal trainer. Someone who was in my life at the time kept telling me that I would not be smart enough to pass the certification test and made fun of the idea of me being a personal trainer. It motivated me to study hard, and I ended up getting 100% on my tests and became a certified personal trainer and nutritionist. And I found clients who I successfully trained for about a year. But when my life circumstances changed again, I realized I did not have a passion for being a personal trainer. Because it wasn’t my calling, I stopped pursuing it as a profession. The funny thing was, after the person who was my biggest doubter, my #1 critic, saw that I was able to do it, they decided to try to become a personal trainer!

When I get excited about something, it’s like a fire has been lit within me. But I’ve learned that my fire tends to burn out when my motivation is not part of God’s plans. Proving people wrong should not be the fuel for my fire. Doing God’s will and following his purpose in my life should be what fuels my fire. I will share my testimony and hopefully it will touch other people’s lives. I will stop circling the base of the mountain and through God’s anointing, and in his time, one day I will make it to the top.

Dear God,

I just wanted to say thank you for allowing me to see another beautiful day.  I am grateful that I am getting the opportunity to do Your will. I ask that you stand with me today as I may run into people that may not see the vision you have for my life. I pray that I will not wavier in my faith in You and the plans You have for me.


Patience: Things are happening


Psalm 5:3 – In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.

Patience has not always been one of my strongest qualities. You might also feel that way. Like have you ever prayed for something and just couldn’t wait? So you start working on your own behalf.

It might have been a relationship, job, or even a nice pair of shoes. Then when you get that man, job, or even those shoes…you find something is just a little off. Maybe the man that you met two months ago is not the one standing in your living room today. This man is mean and doesn’t think highly of you. Then you get the job and it’s nothing like what was written out for the job description. My favorite is those shoes that you just bought with your rainy day money. Your feet really hurt, I mean bad, and now you have put a bunion on your toe.

My point is, sometimes God is nowhere in the mix. If we just wait and allow God to move. He would supersede anything that we could have imagined.

Dear God,
I come to You today most humbly and graciously. Giving You all the praise and glory for all the many blessings I have received in my life. This week please cover me with the spirit of patience and allow me to share that with others. I know that You are working on my behalf.


Self-care: Don’t forget your hat

Isaiah 66:13 – As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you

Do you ever have a day where you just feel depleted? You’ve given everything you got and you just can’t give anymore. Yesterday was one of those days. If I could’ve just locked myself in my room, curled up in a ball and cried, I would have.

All three of my children are recovering from strep throat, my daughter is crying because she didn’t get the lead role in her school play, my middle child is having a meltdown about screen time, my husband is stressed about finances, and my youngest son has taken up bug eating for the day. Meanwhile I’m trying to help with homework, prepare dinner, clean the house, and find a quiet place in my house so I  can continue writing.

For whatever reason, I’m always able to go in my bag of uplifting quotes or funny jokes and lift up my family’s spirits in a time of personal crisis. My quotes and jokes ensure everyone is happy, feeling good, and restored to their harmonious selves. I just don’t know why I couldn’t do that for myself yesterday.

As a mother, I feel it’s very easy to put on my many hats throughout the day and forget to put on the most important hat, self-care.  I had to take a minute, to look in the mirror, and ask myself, when was the last day I had a ME day. Why is it I feel so guilty about spending money or time on myself?

I hear this same story too often in our society when it comes to women never getting enough time in the day for self.

So on this day, I send a hug, smile, and message to every woman. Whether you are a mother, a caregiver, or a single woman in this world trying to make a difference: remember, you are strong and powerful, an overcomer, beautiful inside and out, and God has a plan for you!

Dear God,

I want to say thank You for making me into the woman I am today. Allowing me to be a mother to my children and a wife to my husband. You keep me safe in Your arms when I feel I don’t have enough energy to continue. Please give me the discipline to practice self-care.  Please continue to give me the strength to persevere through life’s obstacles.