Psalm 62:1~ Truly my soul silently waits for God; from Him comes my salvation.
“Life doing me” has become way to common for me. Having been quarantined for the last few months, I have been able to do some self-reflection. Over this time, I must admit even before, I have been in search for something inside of me that has been lost. There is an uncertainty of when I lost it, but I realize that it is gone. I have sat for hours talking to God asking Him what is it that I am missing. And, I have felt like He is not listening or is simply sick of me coming to Him with the same question…God what am I missing in my life?
It was not until this pandemic that I heard the answer I was searching for. It was on a day that I went for a walk. I walk almost every day. Yet, on this particular day when I decided to go for a walk, it wasn’t just my typical walk. I went on a walk with Christ. As I walked down the street, I felt His presence. I felt the cool breeze on my face, the smell of the fresh air. I saw how the trees were beginning to bloom and the animals ran free – like I imagine they did in the beginning.
I started to thank God for His many blessing and talking to Him about why this was happening at this time. He simply said I needed to sit everyone down and make them refocus. He asked me, “Shavon when was the last time you did this?” I replied, “Yesterday I went for a walk with my husband and kids.” He said, “No when was the last time you walked and talked with just me.” I continued to walk in silences, listening to the voice of God. He reminded me of all the many blessing He had brought me through even leading up to this point. I replied, “Yes, I remember, and I am forever grateful.” He said, “You have been asking what I am missing.” He said, “The answer has always been with you. You just need to tap back into what you are called to do.”
He simply said, “You have allowed life to do you.” It was at that point that I had an awakening. Every obstacle that has been placed in front of me had consumed me, causing me to lose focus on what is important. I said to myself, you stopped writing and sharing weekly devotionals. You stopped sharing the gifts and talents given to you. You did this because you allowed yourself to believe you were not worthy enough or good enough to do the work. He said, “I knew you way before you knew yourself. I knew every victory and challenge you would face in this life. Each one is a building block for the person you are called to be.”
He said to me, “You should be living life and live into your purpose and not stray away. The enemy wants you to abandon your calling and be caught up in the chaos of life. Shavon stay the course live life and know I am with you always.”
Thank you for opening my eyes once again and allowing me to be witness to Your many blessings. Thank you for being patient. I pray to You Lord God that during this time I will continue to grow closer to You and really allow Your light to shine through me. In the name of Jesus I pray.